Free Taxi!!! Tip Included?

Since the first primortial man took his first step, mankind has searched for a way to travel long distances without having to use our legs too much. Driving is a great solution, however the use of our legs is still required to operate the-rich-hobos-home. Ownership of a vehicle is costly, you have to buy the auto, pay for gas and maintanence, accessories and upgrades. Buses and Trains require you to be on someone else's time, then there is cost of fare, unpleasant traveling conditions, sitting next to junkies, degenrate high schoolers, crying babies, unknown bodily fluids, the elderly, or any of the other displays of a decaying society.

Well, if you do your research carefully then you will as well find out how to pull of this next great scheme.

I believe in win-win situations for people. Whenever some cheapness is involved we must make it possible for there to be W's flying around.

HOW TO RIDE AROUND IN A CAB FOR FREE!!!

AND STILL TIP WITHOUT USING A CENT OF YOUR OWN MONEY!

I may not have given all the credit to public transportion as it deserves. because hidden in the public transportation department lies a program not many people know about. This program is known as GRH which is involved in many major cities that have taxis and buses. It is a program that is federally funded to provide account holders with the ability to vanpool or carpool there taxi's to work. An extra part of this program states that if one of these employees has to get home in case of an emergency... the ride will be free, and in most cases gratuity is included or you, the passaenger, fills in the tip slot.

How can you use this awesome program? This is where your own cleverness will be put to the test. As you saw with the previous post of how to get a pizza delivered for free, the cheapness is easy as long as you know what your doing.

Every city is different, I only know the account number for my city, other cities I don't know. HOWEVER, if I could find it in this city, anyone can find it in any other city. Every city is different so when trying to figure all this out you may want to make a few different calls.

WHAT YOU WILL NEED:

• The account number. (Comment if you have issues on this one. Or if you have #'s for other cities.)
• In most cases, you'll need a ID number as well as the account number. You can make this up as long as you use the same number every time. I formated mine to be [letter][six digits] it is very easy for me to remember.
• You will need to have a supervisors name. (This is whom you will pose as when you make your call for a pick-up.)
• The passengers name. (If you could have any name in the world what would it be? Be the new name.)

HOW TO MAKE THE CALL:

Now you have all of your info, it's time to make it happen. You will call your cab company and the conversation should start with...

"I need a pick-up for an employee using the GRH program."

From there the operator will run through the list of things that they require from you. If there is something you are asked and don't know how to respond, act as if you can not hear them or, as if, you are looking for the information in your "office". When all the information is collected make sure to ask the operate to note for the driver that your employee(yourself) doesn't have there identification with them but that they are SUPERVISOR APPROVED! this is important because you do not have the ID that they will need to see, so you will need to make this known before the driver arrives. This way you aren't meant with any awkwardness.

DURING THE DRIVE:

If you like small talk then small talk with your driver. If not, throw some headphones on, read a book, make phone calls, whatever. This is now a normal cab ride. Most of the time the driver will fill out the form for you or he may let you fill it out. In either case, you will have to give your John Hancock, or whatever name you came up with, DO NOT SIGN YOUR REAL NAME. Well, whenever you are given the form make sure you slap a 10 dollar tip in the tip slot for your driver. I say this because the driver WILL recieve that money at the end of the night. This will also help to minimize resistance from the driver. Remember that there is a human being sitting in front of you, they are making a living, help your fellow man.

There are many ways to pull off schemes. Many ways to lie, cheat, and steal. The Cheapness never hurts an individual. Like the way a person can hurt people. When I say "person" I mean legal persons, corporate persons, they hurt people. Big business harms it's three E's. Employees, Environment, and the Economy. The Cheapness fights them back by using there tactics against them. Find loopholes, exploit them. Don't harm people, go after the person.

Signing off for now

Yet Another Way to get it free.

This alternative works just as good and is very easy to pull off. It has a couple of drawbacks. It's biggest drawback is that you can't have your meal delivered. Its great advantage it has over the last post is that you can do this at virtually any pizza parlor, it does not have to be a major pizza franchise. It's great for when you are out and about.

What you'll have to do:

You'll want to walk into a pizza parlor with some strangers that are also going in, AS IF, you are with them. Just trail behind them and listen carefully. What you want to be doing here is hearing for two things. The name on the order and also what the order was. Once you hear an order you want leave and wait. After about 5 minutes you are gonna call, by phone, the pizza place. You will inform them that the pizza that you just picked up was not good, wrong toppings, cold, too greasy, whatever you feel comfortable saying.

This works great because companies just want to keep there customer coming back. Comps are nothing in big business. It costs about $1.50 for a major pizza place to manfacture a large specialty pizza. These are then sold for around twenty dollars. Them comping a pizza doesn't break there bank account.

Anyway, these will now go down this way. The manager, whom you should already be speaking to on this issue, I stay away from the CSR because they can not make an executive decision, such as issuing a comp. Always ask what they can do for you, to fix this situatiuon. Hear the manager out, if their offer is not to your liking then say so. In the end, you'll more than likely be asked to come and pick up another pizza. Tell them yes and that you will throw the other one away as it is inedible.

There are many ways to pull off schemes. Many ways to lie, cheat, and steal. The Cheapness never hurts an individual. Like the way a person can hurt people. When I say "person" I mean legal persons, corporate persons, they hurt people. Big business harms it's three E's. Employees, Environment, and the Economy. The Cheapness fights them back by using there tactics against them. Find loopholes, exploit them. Don't harm people, go after the person.
Signing off for now

How To Get A Free Pizza DELIVERED!

That's right. You can have a pizza delivered to your front door. It will cost you nothing except for a phone call and an empty stomach. there are a few things to keep in mind before attempting this.

1. The customer is always right. (Although anyone that has ever worked in customer service knows this to be false.)
2. Things happen, employees make mistakes, managers fix mistakes.
3. This will only work at major pizza chains. Unless specified.
4. As long as you have a convincing story, which is provided, you'll be eating in no time.
5. Prepare. Timing is everything.

Before you call:

Before you call and try to slap a pizza place in the mouth with some cheapness. You'll need to know what it is that you want. No matter what you have to know what you want so that you can know what to tell them. You can also look at there menu online and find out what kind of specialties they have.

• Specialties are really good because a simply mix up that can happen, and often does, is that a customer will ask for a certain specialty without a certain topping and because of habit the employee will still add that topping. 
• So know what you "ordered last time" and let them know it was not made to your liking, took forever, wrong toppings, cold, whatever you feel comfortable saying. Know the location of the "other store."
• Pick a time the store may be busy, during a sports game, lunch or dinner times.

So before you call know what it is you "had ordered" and what store you "ordered from."


There are a few variations to how you can accomplish getting a hot pizza to your home. These are some of the more simple ways I have included a paraphrasing of a recent call.

CSR- Thank you for calling can you please hold?
Me-    Sure.
(waiting)
CSR- How can I help you?
Me-   Hi, I just moved in the area, I used to live further out west, anyway, I ordered a pizza from the **name omitted** over by Mississippi Ave a couple of weeks ago. I had to go pick it up because a driver was not available at the store, then I took the pizza home and it was no bueno. The manager at that location was helpful and told me he would credit it to my account.

These major chains don't have a linked database. Each individual store chronicles the caller with there phone number. So this is a really great trick when you have buddies over and you can use one of their phones.

CSR- What's your phone number?
Me-   **number omitted**
CSR- You ordered from this store?
Me-    No, from the one on Mississippi...
CSR- I don't see anything under this number.
Me-   That's what I am saying I used to live way out that way although now I am closer to you. There is a credit on my account and I would like to redeem it.
CSR- Sir, I don't see it.
Me-  May I speak to manager perhaps he may be more suited to assist me in this manner. Can you please fill him in on my situation. (This is a great tactic because it forces the person on the phone to explain to the manager what's going on. And it gets them to find a solution for you)

Be respectful as much as possible, be firm and hold your position. Remember nothing can go wrong over the phone. You are a customer that is having an issue it is there job to make you happy. Once the manager was put on the line he had already decided he was too busy to call another store and got on the phone and told me it would be delivered.

Disclaimer: A delivery fee is now common, simply ask a manager to waive the fee and it will be. Delivery drivers are people too. You are getting a free pizza please tip the driver, at least let him have a bong rip.

There are many ways to pull off schemes. Many ways to lie, cheat, and steal. The Cheapness never hurts an individual. Like the way a person can hurt people. When I say "person" I mean legal persons, corporate persons. they hurt people. Big business harms three E's. Employees, Environment, and the Economy. The Cheapness fights them back by using there tactics against them. Find loopholes, exploit them. Don't harm people, go after the person.

Signing off for now.

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Welcome to world of cheapness

Allow me to start by saying that the cheapness is not fully understood. You see, the cheapness is meant to excercise the mind. It's about coming up with creative solutions to everday "problems." Whatever these problems may be, they affect us all. Something as simply as hunger. Hunger is a serious issue. In many countries there are starving people with no money and no means. I don't mean to sound insenstive but I can guarantee you I will never go hungry like any of them. Not because I have a job, because I don't. we all know poverty exists. Though with an enriched and enlightened mind can over come the largest problems in fast and easy solutions. But only if you want it fast and easy. In my blogg I will be chronicling my extreme levels of cheapness. Everything you are reading is theoretical. Use at your own risk and have a understanding before you attempt any of this. Lets get to our first post. How to get a free pizza delivered.

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